Oct 24, 2022
With Rebecca Zung, Narcissism Negotiation Expert & Attorney
We all have moments in our life when we may feel manipulated by another person’s words or actions. We’re so busy giving in to their demands that our own needs could get lost in the shuffle. If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Multiple studies indicate that this type of narcissistic behavior is on the rise and social media plays a part in encouraging and cultivating this trend. Studies have shown that young people are particularly susceptible to the influence of social media and have become obsessed with cultivating their online profile to garner the most “likes.” They become increasingly dependent upon the admiration of others to feed their self-esteem which increases their narcissistic personality traits. When a person deliberately insists on having their own way or displays an excessive sense of entitlement, it can have a negative effect on others. After all, it’s not pleasant to be around individuals who are so attention-seeking and so self-absorbed that they completely disregard the needs of those around them.
Narcissism can manifest itself in more than one way. “Grandiose narcissism” is the most well-known, with the individual displaying high self-esteem and self-assuredness and they look to others to fulfill their excessive sense of entitlement. However, a person who is diagnosed with “vulnerable narcissism” exhibits low self-esteem, defensive behavior, and an insistence on having things their way. When they don’t get their way, they can react with anger and hostility. In order to avoid that explosive reaction, those around them quickly surrender and the cycle of manipulation continues. But there are ways to avoid being a victim of that behavior. Last year Florine interviewed Rebecca Zung, a very successful attorney and Narcissism Negotiation Expert. If you want to learn how to deal more effectively with the narcissist in your life, you’ll want to listen to Florine’s interview.
What You’ll Hear in This Episode:
- What exactly is a narcissist?
- What is the difference between a controlling person and a narcissist?
- What are some traits and characteristics of narcissists?
- Why is it so hard to communicate with narcissists?
- What is Rebecca’s “Slay” strategy in dealing with narcissists?
- What is gaslighting and what are some examples?
- How do narcissists groom and condition people?
- Can a narcissist “get better”?
- How can you manage a relationship or interaction with a narcissist?
Today’s Takeaway:
Working with or loving a person with narcissistic tendencies can sometimes be very difficult. They may demand perfection from those around them and have an unrealistic need for control. When confronted or criticized, things can turn ugly very quickly. If they feel threatened, they can actually make you feel as though you are the “bad guy.” When it’s a minor disagreement and we recognize the signs, we can negotiate for what we need and avoid being drawn into an argument. One of the most frightening aspects of dealing with a narcissist is the way they manipulate us into thinking we are the crazy ones when we are not. Trust your instincts and know that you matter. Only YOU get to determine your value and worth. In order for others to treat you with respect, you have to believe in yourself and know your worth. Today is a gift and in order to give ourselves the gift of a happier tomorrow, we can learn how to take better care of ourselves today. So enjoy today and enjoy the people around you. I’m Florine Mark and that’s “Today’s Takeaway.”
Quotes:
- “They don’t have any internal feeling of value at all so they feel like they have to get all of their sense of value from external sources.” — Rebecca
- “They feel completely empty inside.” — Rebecca
- “A narcissist controls people in order to feel a sense of value for themselves.” — Rebecca
- “The motivation behind anything that they do is something called narcissistic supply, and that’s anything that feeds that ego.” — Rebecca
- “They do tend to lie a lot, I think that they tend to project their behaviors onto other people.”— Rebecca
- “Because they have no inner sense of value, they just don’t have the ability to have any sense of care or empathy for other people.” — Rebecca
- “The diamond level supply for a narcissist is always going to be how it looks; their reputation and how they look to the community is always, always, always more important than anything else.” — Rebecca
- “Gaslighting is something that all narcissists do.” — Rebecca
- “The not-so-secret secret is that they’re actually more afraid of you than you are of them.” — Rebecca
- “They’re actually the worst right before they’re ready to give up.” — Rebecca
Brought to You By:
Mentioned in This Episode:
Crush My Negotiation Worksheet
Negotiate Your Best Life podcast
Negotiate Like You M.A.T.T.E.R.: The Sure-Fire Method to Step Up and Win