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Today's Takeaway with Florine Mark

Apr 26, 2021

With Terri Cole, Author, Therapist, and Relationship Expert

Do you consider yourself a good friend? Do you always say “Yes” to someone when you really want to say “No”? Do friends and family run to you for help or advice because you’re always there… even at the expense of your own health? We all do this at times, but the important thing is to recognize it. My guest today, Terri Cole, is a New York-based psychotherapist and relationship expert whose new book, Boundary Boss, explores how to effectively communicate your needs and establish healthy boundaries. When we put our needs ahead of others, that doesn’t make us selfish or a bad person. Our own emotional health needs to be the priority because when you’re emotionally fit, you’re more able to help those around you. I loved this book because Terri provides actual strategies and scripts to learn how to stop sabotaging ourselves. Not only does this episode provide so many helpful tips on how to build healthy boundaries, but as a special bonus to our listeners, she offers a free guide on how to get started becoming a Boundary Boss today!


What You’ll Hear on This Episode:


  • How does Terri define a “Boundary Boss”?
  • Why saying “Yes” when we want to say “No” does more harm than good.
  • Why isn’t it okay to just acquiesce to avoid confrontation?
  • How can you create new boundaries in an established relationship?
  • Why is it so very difficult to say, “No”?
  • How can we still say “yes” to things without over-committing?
  • Why is accepting rejection a healthy boundary?
  • What are power pauses?
  • How boundaries vary within different power differentials.
  • The importance of specificity and transparency with boundaries.
  • Why is gratitude so essential?



Today’s Takeaway:

We’re often taught, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” The message is clear: Don’t complain and go along to get along! But healthy relationships are a two-way street and require boundaries. It’s not okay for one person to always be the giver in the relationship, and it’s important for both people to get their needs met. If you’re constantly putting someone else’s feelings ahead of your own, there’s less room in that relationship for YOU. Keeping silent about your needs just to avoid confrontation isn’t healthy and can lead to resentment. This is when relationships can break down. I know when I prioritize the things that are important to me and speak up, I feel better. Remember that every single day is a gift and treat yourself as you would your best friend. When you stand firm and honor your feelings, you’re on your way to becoming your very own Boundary Boss! I’m Florine Mark and that’s “Today’s Takeaway.”

Brought to You By:

Florine Mark

Mentioned in This Episode: 

Exclusive Boundary Boss Offer for Today’s Takeaway Listeners!

Boundary Boss Book

Terri Cole